I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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