I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
