I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
that's an acceptable place to lick
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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