Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
