I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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