SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
