Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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