Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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