he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize