This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
