Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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