I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
