Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
