is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
