dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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