1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize