omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize