And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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