dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
