Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
