the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
