I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
