eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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