puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
