Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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