he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
