Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
