There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
