it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
