my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
