so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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