I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
