Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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