i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
