Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
