brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
