After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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