there was a trapeze. enough said
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
