This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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