Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
