her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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