I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
