he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
