i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
