that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
