im about as happy as oj after his trial
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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