He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
