Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
