I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize