Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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