Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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