Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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