i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize