boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
