I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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