He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
