What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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