Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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