The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
