im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
