It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
